[when actions speak louder than words]

*sigh*..'ape nie cik azie..pagi-pagi dh mengeluh'..

seems lama dh tak update blog niekan..sgt2 lama..dh masuk thn baru dh and baru nie ada kekuatan nak update blog nie...ntah ar...busy..malas..takde idea..smer ader...but hari nie kena gagahkan diri untuk luahkan ape yg terbuku di hati nie....yelah..dh tade tmpt nk ngadu skrg nie..so kat sini arr tmpt nk luahkan ape yg terasa kat hati nie..

lately nie....membusykan diri nie dgn keje jerk...sgt2 sibuk lately dgn workload yg agak byk..at least dgn membusykan diri nie jdkan my self leka...but sbbkan diri nie jd mcm stress sgt2..hahaha ntah arr..

since my mrBF back to his work about 1 month ago *dah sebulan dh..baru nak bgtau*..my life back to life yang waiting and waiting again..and kali nie life makin rasa mencabar and hidup makin tertekan...without HIM next to me and i dah tade tmpt mengadu sbbkan i rasa sgt2 stress...lbey2 lagi kali nie i dh start working...yer arr dugaan masa keje ngan dugaan masa study lain sgt2...masa study dulu bley arr thn lg biler stress mcm nie...skrg nie rs mcm nak giler jer..and dulu luckily his sailing dekat2 jer..and ade gak time2 yang biler dia tepun tue so rasa relieve arr sket beban kat hati....skrg nie susah sgt nak contact dia since dia have to keje jauh2...wut to do..dis is my sacrifice and my choice..kena patience arr eventho kdg2 rasa mcm tak tertanggung sgt...

i tak tau knp skrg nie i susah sgt nak put my trust pd org lain...since he came into my life and be part of me..semua bnd or masalah i lbey selesa share with him...bukan maksud he control my life..no..not dat..just be with him i can saw the entire world from other people eyes..i jd lbey terbuka and lebih berhati2 biler rs nk bercerita dgn org...

skrg nie i jd fed up dgn org2 yg hipokrit and sarcastic nie...tikam belakang..suke sebok hal org and perasan diri tu bagus sgt...i tau arr i'm not perfect but plzz...cuba put yourself in others shoe..kalo kita rasa sakit mesti org tue pun sakit jgak.. i dh penat dh nk jg hati org..i nie jenis yg tak reti nk mrh org...so nk tunjuk i protes tue bila i senyap and tak tegur smer org.....so fhm2 sendri arr kalo i senyap je tue...

dah arr cukup2 ar layan saket hati tue...nnt diri sendri yg giler..so jgn pikir benda yg tak pyh susah2 nak pikir.. just be and love yourself....